Shop Mobile More Submit  Join Login
About Varied / Hobbyist SylviaSatanaiiFemale/United States Recent Activity
Deviant for 4 Years
Needs Core Membership
Statistics 561 Deviations 394 Comments 5,258 Pageviews

Newest Deviations



Bi-Polar, "The Artist's Catharsis"

In my twenty plus years I have been in recovery, from PTSD. And other manifestations Of My first 21 years of living, I have had one companion that never ever once abandoned me,  or hindered me from some personal joy and freedom. That would be art. I was never encouraged to be artistic. No one ever asked me if I wanted to do it. No one explained to me what art could do for one in severe recovery.  Yes ironically,  I come from a family of that had talent in being artistic. My biological Father , I found years later,  that he could draw and wrote poetry prose and rhyme. My father was embarrassed and very protective and secretive about his artistic endeavors.  He shared his deranged artistic dreams and nightmares with me and in secret. Like some how he would be less of a man if he admitted he did art. My uncle, could act, and also write poetry.  My grandmother was most instrumental in unconsciously inspired the muse to strike me. She and my grandfather were rock hounds and jewelry makers. My grandparent painted, decopauged,   she wrote stories, and was always making. Something. She danced among the roses in the in secret, early in the morning, just like I did. My fondest memory was. When I spent summers with her, she would make scrapbooks way before they became commercial and popular. I still have a few of her books left. Filled with vintage images from very old magazines.  She encouraged me to take iniative in just creating. It was the one arena I could express my emotions without fear of speaking out of turn and paying the consequences. I wrote my first my first long story when I was ten. I made an illustrated Christmas book by age 13. I started my ongoing journals at age eleven and have kept one ever since.  .  My mother was a singer who could play the guitar and did many artistic things, such as calligraphy and paintings.  My grandfather built things and was excellent and writing and music. He wrote a state song for Idaho and it got published and recognized as a legal state pride song.  My father and grandmother were very adept at photography. I picked up the shutter bug there. My father could speak well publicly and was great all at being in positions of power.  My brother, is adept at digital art and music. He is a master at physical fitness. He is lucky to be alive. I come from a family of three generations of Veterans. 

In my own travels and travails,  I learned art could be a tool for expressing things that words failed. I would have bouts of time in my life where art was the only healthy outlet. I ever had. My mind is abstract and unpredictable.  I learned to put my dark bouts of depression. Or elevated mood or mania. I could pur my rage, my passion, my sexuality, my hopes, my live anything I wanted to pour into it. This lead me to several scholarships for vocal talent. For opera and musical theatre and drama. I later became a belly dancer and everything thing else that seduced my artistic side. I am a very visually stimulated person as well as audio. My writing has also been a catharsis.  I've. Been in a particularly deep funk in the last month. I have once again found myself in that reflective time of the year and something inside me is changing and a seed has been planted inside of me. It will come to fruition. I first learned artistic therapy when in many of a series of psych-ward hospital stays. It's been over 17 years. 

Art allows me freedom to let the flow of ideas and watch them form into manifestations. I don't always know what the end project will be. But that is half the magic for me in itself. 

Art doesn't have to have guidelines.  It doesn't have to make Sense to anyone. It doesn't even have to be likeable. But it still art nonetheless.  

Imagine an artless world.  I'm not sure sometimes that it would be worth much without it. Art is a force of nature. Humans are hard wired to believe, to express things that science can't. Always define. 

When the muses or muses strike. I am happier when I follow my heart and instincts.

If we could nurture a world to just be and be trustworthy to thyselves, I believe that life would be healthier and eventually find balance and disable the power that toxic shame does to assess of people. 

Embrace your art. Embrace the gifts of your manifestations of Mental Illness.  Show and emphasize it's strengths and weaknesses. No escapes from the human condition. Nor should they.


SylviaSatanaii's Profile Picture
Artist | Hobbyist | Varied
United States
Born In AK. A Muse. A Jill of many Trades. Complicated. I live in Images. I Am A Multi-Faceted Gem.

I live in my camera. I have been a shutterbug since I was around fifteen years old. I do a LOT of Self Portraits. I see something , an Idea and if I can I will take a snapshot. I am not a professional with professional training. I like capturing a moment. A Time or feelings of emotion captured forever in time in a an image. I love writing. I love expressing myself in way though that words often cannot.

I am a very expressive person. The whole gamut of emotions. I am also a very sexually expressive person. I am a Fetishist and Kinkster. So many of my works have sexual themes and undertones. Not always though. They say that Bi-polar is the artist's "disease". I use art as copng mechanism at times. Sometimes those are when my best moments are caught.

I a real girl with imperfect and awesome qualities. On good days I'm great. On Bad ones My "imperfectness" can show in my life.I Identify as an Adult LIttle GIrl. Which means to me, that I have needs as a person to regress for lost years in my formative years growing up. Life is too short to not be what an individual is. The difference being is that with ME. I am a group of individuals. I have been living with D.I.D. all my life and am grateful for the diversity of looking through other's eyes from within in my inner family.

I have so many Ideas and so many things to share in my art about the world of MY life.

My biggest hope is to continue to keep expressing myself with my Art that encompasses the world around me the way I see it or experience it. If it inspires another. The my mission is accomplished.:D

I feel that artistic expression is healthy and inspiring. I like to inspire and pump up other artists that have bemused me. My biggest hope for my own art is that if it reaches it peopl it makes them feel something or make them think.

This is why I identify with being a Muse. I have inspired many and many here have inspired me.

I'm a complex womane-childe with simple joys. I

AdCast - Ads from the Community



Add a Comment:
Mistgod Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Welcome to our group!  The Power of Imagination! :D
Meztli72 Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thank you very much for the favorites :aww:
MelianOfMist Featured By Owner Sep 9, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist

Thank you so much for the faves today! :squee: 
MelianOfMist Featured By Owner Aug 27, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks for the faves! :heart:
SylviaSatanaii Featured By Owner Aug 28, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
MayaLee-Art Featured By Owner Jul 14, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks for watching Tight Hug 
Hope I can getcha to stick around
SylviaSatanaii Featured By Owner Jul 28, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
would love to:) I REALLY like your work:)
MelianOfMist Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
chibi sign thanks for faving by MelianOfMist
MelianOfMist Featured By Owner Jul 11, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Melian Message 3 by MelianOfMist Hope you are having a great day!  Any dates with your mirror lovely lady?  :heart:  I think 'bout every time I encounter a mirror lately.  You are an interesting influence on me!  *giggle*
GDeyke Featured By Owner Jul 9, 2014   Writer
Thank you as always. :heart:
Add a Comment: